After 10 years of being married, I still feel like I haven't been excepted. I totally feel like an outsider when everyone gets together. I don't fit in with anyone and that makes me very sad. Its hard to feel loved by a family that just wont talk to you unless they have to. All you hear about is all the stuff that they talk about behind your back. I have recently deleted some family from my account on Facebook. I did so because I'm just done. It would be nice if family would just want to spend time with me and my family. Not as a have to. Everyone comes to California and we don't find out until the day before or the day off their arrival. I would just love to have some communication from the family via text, email, or phone call. It would be nice to have some communication, so that we could plan an afternoon, that is all. Is that too hard to do? Are we really that hard to hang out with? Are my kids not that enjoyable? Am I really that hated? These are just some of the questions that go through my head every single time. I already have a brother and Sister-in-law that hate me.(Yes my own Brother doesn't even care to hang out with his only sister or talk to her.) I just feel so alone with family. The only people that truly love me in my own kids and David. I really is hard to have to be living with your in-laws for 9 1/2 years. It isn't a choose that was suppose to of happened for this long. But it is what it is and we are pushing through it. But has anyone in the family even cared to just ASK and not assume?
EDIT: This is just a post to get my feeling out. I did delete this but I found it and I want to document that I did it. So I have re-posted it. Thanks to those that did post a comment on the first time it was posted. I did read your comments and feel the love.
5 comments:
Well, that's just sad! When we moved into a new ward and I was 23 years old and pregnant with Lauren. We lived in a tiny apartment with only one car which Mike took out of town almost every week. Most of the other women in our ward were in their 30s and had big beautiful houses. I talked to the bishop once and told him that I didn't feel like I fit in because of all those differences, and I was really unhappy. He said, "Baloney!" I was shocked. He told me that people are people. None of those things matter. People will love you for you. And if they don't love you, move on! He said you can't sit around waiting for someone else to make you happy. You have to reach out to people and create your own happiness and seek out friendships.
Wow. What a difference that little pep talk made in my life. I took his advice and have tried to be that way ever since. Reach out and be a friend. Don't wait for someone to call you, CALL THEM! And if people don't respond, move on!
I don't know if that helps, but I thought I'd share. :)
So, now, what are we supposed to ask? Why are you still living with your in-laws??
(sorry. that was a little long.)
That is exactly what Is going on at church with me. I try to hang out with the woman my age but I get the cold shoulder. I did talk to your dad (the bishop) and he told me the same thing; baloney! I have moved on trying to fit into my ward.
Anyways, like I said at the bottom of my post; I am just getting my feelings out. That is everything that has been going around in my head. That is it the end!
It's always good to get those feelings out! It will make you feel better. :) I hope you were able to read my comment when you first posted this post. I will be in town over the holidays and I hope we can get together! :)
Yes I did read your first comment. Thanks! Looking forward to the holidays.
I'm sorry people from church make you feel that way.
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